Human Connection Is Your Competitive Advantage

We live in a world where it has never been easier to communicate with people and, somehow, we are becoming less connected to each other.

We text instead of calling. We like someone’s post instead of checking on them. We exchange a business card at a networking event and think we’ve made a connection. We automate emails, use AI to create content and spend more of our lives communicating through screens.

All of those tools have their place. I use them too. The problem comes when we start confusing communication with connection.

A relationship is not created because you met someone once, exchanged information or connected on LinkedIn. Relationships require intention, time and a series of touch points that tell another human being, I see you.

As more of our world becomes automated, your ability to connect human to human is becoming one of your greatest differentiators.

Meeting Someone Is Only the Beginning

If you want to build relationships, professionally or personally, you have to be willing to go beyond the first interaction.

Say hello. Introduce yourself. Ask someone to coffee. Schedule a 20-minute connection call. Learn something about them that has nothing to do with what they can do for you.

One of the things I’ve incorporated into my own business is making three new connections every week. These are not sales calls. I’m not going into them trying to turn someone into a client. I want to know who they are, what they do, what matters to them and how I might be able to add value.

That distinction matters because people can feel when you’re only interested in what you can get.

A good relationship is an exchange. How can I help you? How can you help me? What do I know that might be useful to you? Who might I be able to introduce you to?

That applies whether you’re building a professional network or talking to another parent on the soccer field. Look for how you can add value to the person in front of you.

Do What You Said You Would Do

Relationships are built in the follow-through.

If you sit down for coffee with someone and tell them you’re going to make an introduction, make the introduction. If you say you’re going to send them something, send it. If you promise to check on something, check on it.

People remember whether your words mean something.

Trust is not built through one big gesture. It is built through all of the smaller moments when someone discovers that you are who you said you were and you do what you said you would do.

This is particularly important in business because people need to know, like and trust you before they are going to do business with you. If you own a small business or you’re a professional who generates business through relationships, this is part of your lead generation strategy whether you recognize it or not.

You can spend money on advertising and exposure, but relationships create something advertising cannot buy… trust.

Bring Back the Touch Points

Somewhere along the way, we stopped doing a lot of the smallthings that make people feel seen.

Send the card.

Make the phone call.

Buy someone a coffee.

Leave the review.

Send the book that made you think of them.

Introduce two people who should know each other.

Check on someone without needing anything.

None of this has to cost much money. Some of it costs nothing. What it requires is attention.

I send a lot of mail because I love receiving mail. I also keep a weekly goal of checking on at least ten people. There is no agenda attached to those messages. Sometimes it’s simply, “Hey, how are you doing? Just checking on you.”

We have become so accustomed to people contacting us because they want something that hearing from someone who wants nothing can almost feel unusual.

That should tell us something.

Don’t Wait for Everyone Else to Come to You

People tell me they want more relationships, more connections, more opportunities or a stronger network, yet sometimes they’re waiting for everyone else to initiate it.

You cannot sit still and then wonder why nobody is finding you.

The other people are carrying their own insecurities. They may think you’re too busy. They may think you wouldn’t want to talk to them. They may be afraid of rejection or convinced they don’t have anything valuable to offer.

Someone has to go first.

If you want the relationship, invite the person to coffee. Make the call. Send the message. Be curious about them.

You do not have to build twenty new relationships every week. In fact, that can become exhausting because meeting someone new requires a different kind of attention than talking with someone you already know. Give yourself a reasonable cadence and then be consistent with it.

Three intentional new connections a week can create an enormous network over time.

How You Treat People Matters

Relationship building isn’t limited to people who can advance your career or grow your business.

There is a human being on the other end of almost every interaction you have.

The customer service representative. The person at the registry. Your electrician. Your plumber. The person making your coffee. The stranger standing next to you in line.

People are accustomed to being rushed, dismissed and treated poorly. Kindness changes an interaction.

I’ve watched people go far beyond what was required of them simply because they felt respected and appreciated. This isn’t about being nice to people so they’ll do something for you. It is about deciding how you’re going to move through the world and keeping your side of the street clean.

How you carry yourself affects the relationships you create.

Relationships Need Deposits Before Withdrawals

One of the worst ways to build a relationship is to disappear until you need something.

We all know what that feels like. You haven’t heard from someone in six months and suddenly there’s a message because they’re selling something, need a referral, have a promotion or want your help.

Relationships don’t work very well when every interaction is a withdrawal.

Be in relationship with people before you need something from them. Check on them. Celebrate them. Support their work. Make introductions. Leave reviews. Remember important things. Show up.

Then, when you do have an ask, there is a relationship underneath it.

That is very different from appearing in someone’s inbox only when you need something.

Be a Helping Human

Behind almost everything we do in life is a relationship.

Your ability to create good relationships affects your business, career, family, friendships, community and the quality of your everyday life.

As the world becomes more automated and people spend more time behind screens, we cannot allow genuine human connection to disappear with it. We have to consciously preserve the things that make relationships meaningful.

Look beyond your own immediate world and ask where you can be helpful.

Do something kind for someone for no other reason than you can. Check on somebody. Send a card. Make the phone call. Give the compliment. Buy the coffee. Introduce yourself to the person standing alone.

Not because you’re keeping score and not because you’re waiting for something in return.

Just be a helping human.

Good multiplies good and meaningful relationships are still built the same way they always have been. One human being taking the time to see another.