How to Make Better Decisions: A Framework for Thinking Clearly and Moving Forward

We make decisions all day long. Some barely matter and some change the direction of our lives, careers and businesses, yet most of us have never been taught to think about the decision-making process itself. Something happens, we react, we decide… and then we wonder why we keep ending up in the same situations.

The quality of your decisions will never exceed the quality of your emotional state. If you are anxious, angry, overwhelmed or afraid, those emotions are influencing what you decide whether you realize it or not. If you’re overwhelmed, your brain is searching for immediate relief. If you’re afraid, it’s searching for safety. If you’re frustrated, it wants control. You may think you’re making a logical decision when you’re really trying to make an uncomfortable feeling go away.

Relief and resolution are not the same thing.

Peace Before Action

Never make an important decision from a reactive state of mind. Your peace is your power, and when something happens and you immediately feel that reaction in your body… the pit in your stomach, the anger, the anxiety, the urgency… that is not the moment to decide what comes next.

Take the pause. Most things are not nearly as urgent as they feel. Unless somebody is bleeding out or you have a true emergency requiring an immediate response, you probably have more time than you think.

Peace creates perspective. Think about standing on the first floor of a large mall and then taking the escalator to the second floor. From upstairs, you can suddenly see everything happening below you. That is what perspective does. Instead of thinking, “I have to fix this right now,” ask yourself, “What’s really happening here?”

Slow your roll before you decide.

Separate the Facts from the Story

One of the most useful things you can learn to do is separate what happened from what you decided it meant. Something occurs and we immediately attach an interpretation to it.

A client leaves. Someone doesn’t return your call. You don’t get the promotion. A person cancels lunch. Your employee says something in a meeting. Your spouse opens the refrigerator and says there are no cold cuts.

The fact might simply be that there are no cold cuts. Everything you add after that is a story.

We carry decades of experiences, assumptions, fears and interpretations with us. Something happens today that resembles something from five years ago, and our brain immediately pulls out the old file. This means we can easily find ourselves making today’s decisions using yesterday’s information.

Nothing new can happen if your perspective only comes from what happened before.

Get curious about what is going on. What are the facts? What assumptions are you making? What story have you attached to this? What are you afraid of, if anything?

Curiosity interrupts reactivity. It gets you off automatic pilot and gives something new the opportunity to show up.

Decide Based on Where You’re Going

Once you’re in the right emotional state, you can evaluate the decision itself. Start with this question: What am I deciding for?

We often make decisions based on what we want to escape. I don’t want this client anymore. I don’t want this job. I don’t want to deal with this person. I don’t want to feel stressed.

That puts your attention on what you’re trying to get away from instead of what you’re trying to create. Ask yourself instead, “Where am I going, and does this decision belong in the future I’m building?”

Your decisions are either reinforcing your current reality or constructing your future.

That matters in business because the decisions that built a $75,000 business will not necessarily build a $500,000 business. The behaviors that made you a strong employee will not necessarily make you a strong leader. What got you here will not automatically get you there.

Growth requires you to make decisions from the perspective of the person you are becoming, not merely the person you have been.

Give the Decision the Right Amount of Weight

Not every decision deserves the same amount of mental energy. Choosing a software platform is not the same as ending a business partnership. Changing a price is not the same as ending a marriage. Going to a networking lunch is not the same as hiring someone who will become part of your payroll and team.

Ask yourself, “How difficult would this decision be to undo?”

Give the decision an amount of attention proportional to its consequences. We waste enormous amounts of energy stressing over small, reversible choices, and that mental clutter leaves us with less capacity for the decisions that deserve deeper thought.

Every Yes Is Also a No

Every decision consumes resources… your time, attention, energy, capacity and sometimes money. When you say yes to one thing, you are saying no to something else.

That isn’t good or bad. You simply need to be conscious of it.

Ask yourself what your yes is going to require if everything works. We often think about whether we want the opportunity, client, promotion, growth or expansion, yet we don’t always think about what success will require from us.

If this works, what will I need to become capable of doing? What will I need to stop doing? What am I saying no to by saying yes to this?

Those questions give you a much clearer picture of the decision in front of you.

Once You Decide, Stop Renegotiating with Yourself

There comes a point when you have gathered the information, asked the questions and made the decision. At that point, move forward.

Constantly second-guessing yourself keeps you on unstable ground, and discomfort is not evidence that you made the wrong decision. Growth is uncomfortable. Stretching is uncomfortable. Becoming someone new is uncomfortable. You can be uncomfortable and still be going in exactly the right direction.

Make the best decision you can with the information you have and move forward. If new facts present themselves, reevaluate.

That is a pivot, not a reason to live in perpetual indecision.

Life and business are full of plot twists. New information comes in. Circumstances change. Something you could not have known becomes clear. Strong decision-making does not mean you never change direction. It means you don’t change direction merely because you became uncomfortable.

A Five-Question Framework for Better Decisions

The next time you’re facing an important decision, get yourself into a place of peace first. Then ask yourself:

Then decide.

You do not need perfect information. You need enough clarity to make a sound decision and enough commitment to move forward.

Master yourself before you master the decision. Get peaceful, get perspective, separate facts from stories, ask better questions and think about where you’re going. Your life, leadership, career and business are being constructed one decision at a time… make those decisions from a place that can take you where you want to go.